Random Chat #1

A friend approached me asking if I know how to swim.  I told him yes and even told him that I am currently tutoring two of our friends.  He got interested because he and his boyfriend do not know how.

Him: Turuan mo naman kami lumangoy.

Me: No problem, pero ibo-bottom ko kayong mag-asawa.  Hehehe.

Him: Sige, binibigyan na kita ng susi sa chastity belt ng asawa ko.  Hehehe.

The conversation went without any violent reaction from his boyfriend.  The intention of the conversation could be a joke, but we all know that there is a grain of truth in it.  It is time to find out if there is a swimming lesson that would happen.

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Friend and I sitting at the front seat of a jeeney.  He was seeking advice on his current relationship, which is always on the test recently.

Him: Nabo-bore na ako.  He keeps repeating the same mistake.

Me: Kung mahal mo siya, dapat i-immune mo na sarili mo sa kamalian na iyan.  Kasi paulit-ulit na mangyayari iyan.  Kumusta naman ang sex life ninyo?

Him: Tigang na nga ako.  Buti pa noon, parati naming nagagawa.

Me: Sabi ng asawa mo, tigang din daw siya.  Bakit naman di kayo magsi-sex?  Paano na lang kung maghanap siya ng sex sa iba?

Him: Basta ako pag makipag-sex siya sa iba, ayoko na.  (Pause)  Puwede ka ba maging counselor naming dalawa?

Me: (Laugh. Silent. Thinking out loud.)  I am not sure if I can be a good counselor but I will do my best.

I am not sure what kind of counselor he is trying to say.  If on relationship, I am not sure if I would be a good one since my idea of relationship is way too unconventional.  If on sex, my thoughts are private. 

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A fellow tripper is sitting beside me.  We are talking about sex.  (Is there any other topic to talk about between trippers.)  We have known each other for months now and till now nothing happened between us except for some touching.  Out of nowhere, he blurted out.

Him: Trabahuin kita kung trabahuin mo ako.

Me: (Silent. Smiling and thinking out loud.)  Is he considering that it is possible that we will have an encounter?  Hehehe.

Nothing is achieved between two self-absorbed individuals.

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I and a newly found friend is lying side by side on my bed. We invited him for a sleepover and only my bed is big enough to accommodate him.  We are interviewing him until one roommate mentioned that he should visit my blog.

Him: Nagbo-blog ka?  Ano blog mo?

Me: Justforthetrip dot blogspot dot com.

Him:  Ikaw si tripper?  Si trip?

Me: Ako nga.

Him: (He tap my forehead.) Ikaw pala si tripper?  Tagal na kaya ako nagbabasa sa blog mo.  Nagkaka-chat pa tayo sa YM.  Last year pa yata iyun.  Nabura lang ang YM account ko kaya di na tayo nakapag-chat.  Nag-message pa ako sa PR mo.

Me: (Laughing.  Surprised.) Talaga? Ano profile mo sa PR.

He told me his profile and my memory is refreshed.  Indeed, we have known each other for some time now and we are together now on the same bed.  What an unexpected event.

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A friend texted me.  He was asking me about someone whom he met in one of the parties at our place.

Him:  Gaano mo kakilala si ****?

Me:  Di ko siya personally kakilala?

Him: May nangyari na sa inyo?

Me: Hmmm. Oo.  Bakit?

No more reply from him.  Kelangan ba ikaw makakauna para ituloy ang binabalak mo sa iisang tao?