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    4 years ago

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Love is Blind

“You know what… indi ka ganun kagwapo, indi ka nga macho at indi ka din makinis… pero beyond all that minahal kita… buong buo…”

Isn’t it sweet to hear that no matter what flaws we have in our character, there is someone who would still love us?  We could even resemble this to unconditional love or “love is blind”.  Perhaps this is the reason why even though we don’t feel the same way to that person, we somehow feel the need to reciprocate in our own small and unique way.

These days, it is easy to say “I love you” even on first date and many fall into this. We could not dismiss if that feeling is true or not but the truth is, it is true at the instant we said it.  We love how the date went through, so we say those words.

There were many times that I hear the “I love you” from my dates.  Oftentimes, those were dates that ended with sex.  Fortunately, I am a very rational person (read heartless).  I didn’t fall that easily.  In my mind, how can you love a person in an instant?  That is a very foolish thing to say.  Since I am a good person, I never humiliated anyone by saying “You are a fool”.  I would just smile and shrug it off.  I believe that by tomorrow, he would forget that feeling anymore.  I was right to most, but there were others who continued the efforts until they got tired and forget me entirely.  There goes instant love.

Love or the idea of love is easy to plant into the minds of people.  Most of us really don’t fall in love with the person instantly.  We rather fall in love with the person’s physical attributes or characteristics or simply how it is expressed.  We fail to recognize that love requires nurturing.  It would take years before it would really grow.  It took me three years to say it, or did I really say it?  I guess I did not say it outrightly.  I remembered I say it in codes first, then jokingly, and then as a form of bullying.  Whatever forms of expression I used then and now, it doesn’t matter because I know that he knows, and it doesn’t take the three words to express it.

Moreover, reciprocating love is not the rule.  If you do not feel the same way, it is best to express it than to provide false hopes.  Rejecting one’s feeling is the most dangerous thing to do.  You would never know how one would respond to it.  If you want to love back, you need to be sure that you really love the person, not his face, his wealth, his sexual prowess nor his mind.  You need to love the whole person, including his imperfections.

“You know what… indi ka ganun kagwapo, indi ka nga macho at indi ka din makinis… pero beyond all that minahal kita… buong buo… pero anong ginawa mo?  Nothing!”  That was a text message to my friend who dumped the sender despite of loving him and his imperfections.  It hurt him.  I thought my friend deserved it because I thought he was just using him.  However, he told me that that is the best he could do than to keep the relationship.  He said that he do not love the person.  He only loves the idea of love.

We like the idea that someone loves us, despite of our flaws.  It reinforces our ego, our pride.  We would wonder how that could be.  What is it in us that makes other fall?  Perhaps we would never know because love in itself is unexplainable.  Love is blind, right?  However, what we should know and realize is that love is a feeling.  It is always right to that person and thus we need to respect it.  By respect we need to put justice to it, either by reciprocating it or ending it.  After all, there is always two sides in a balance.


Mink said...

one of your best post. ang Love nga naman.