First Step

One must have the confidence to continue what has been started and try not to rely on the interventions from others.

Some people really have difficulty in introducing themselves to other people.  Maybe it is because they are too shy or afraid that they would be rejected.  As a result, they would be left out in one corner of the room trying to find the guts until they would be consume by the wall behind them.  Little do they know that perhaps those people around him are likewise feeling the same way.  If no one would initiate, then no one would benefit at all.

Two of my friends have the same dilemma.  Both of them have a crush in their respective gyms.  Problem is both also are shy to approach and make a conversation.  I provided them some tips and I waited for any of them to tell me a success story.  No one came to me and relay that near impossible feat until I made my own move.  Unfortunately, only one of them benefitted from my threatening intervention because I go to the same gym.

Last night, I went to the gym one hour before it closes.  The friend came earlier and found him hitting the flat bench directly opposite to the incline bench where his crush is using.  I have a similar routine with the crush so I thought I need to ask him if I could alternately use it with him.  He smiled and offered me the bench.  I thought this guy is cool.  We finish the exercise and he proceeded with his routine on the other side of the gym.  I exchange glances with the friend trying to tell him that I would make my move.  He received my message unchallenged.

The crush went back to hit the flat bench where I am supposed to use also.  This time as he pressed the weight I formulate a conversation in my mind.  After he finished, I started out the conversation.

“That weight is a little light for you.  Why don’t you try adding more plates.”  I recommended.  “It’s already heavy for me.”  He replied still smiling.  “No.  I guess you are just afraid to try.  Add more plates and I will spot you.”  I insisted.  Feeling my sincerity in helping him, he followed my suggestion.  He added 20 kilos on the bar.  I told him how to execute the exercise properly.  He finished the routine with a little help from me.  I winked at him, “See.  I told you you’ll make it.”  He smiled again feeling confident.  From then one, he was at my side asking me questions.

Seeing my progress with the crush, my friend came closer to us.  He also started to make quick exchanges with his crush.  When the crush was out of hearing range from us, the friend said, “I don’t like you.  You are hitting on him.”  Laughing, I told him “You are too slow.  Don’t worry, you will benefit from this.”  I know that my friend wanted to know the name of his crush so I asked him.  He politely gave it and I also gave mine.  I even offered my hand that he pleasantly shook.  He then told me that we have the same name.  “Tukayo.”  The friend commented.  The conversation went long until we left the gym together.

“You felt insecure, right?”  I grinned at my friend.  “Of course, you have an edge over me.  You have a nice body which I think makes you attractive to him.  But hey, he’s mine.”  He replied with a dramatic tone.  “Cut the dramatics.  I did that for you.  I already get his name for you, right?  And I also introduce you to him.”  I declared.

The conversation I made with the crush is not difficult.  I just considered the place and the state of mind or action of the target.  We are in a gym.  The person is lifting a weight that I feel is too light for him.  That is enough information to start with.  There is no formulation of a good pick-up line.  It is all about spontaneity.

As for the friend, I guess he has made it through first base.  I told him to put behind his motives first.  Develop on the acquaintanceship first, build the friendship, and maybe in the future share the feelings.  There’s no need to rush things because in the first place, he still has no clear idea of the preference of the crush.  I just hope he would not feel insecure or intimidated by my intentions.  I want to help but he must show that he deserves it.

As for the other friend, hopefully he would gather more guts.  I could not help him because we go to different gyms.  All I could do is share to him some tips of initiating conversations.  I did offer him I could drop by his gym but I guess it could already be an intrusion.

Introducing yourself is just the first step in creating relationships.  Exchanging names are very easy.  What must everyone be prepared of is the succeeding interactions that could either create or destroy the initial efforts.  One must have the confidence to continue what has been started and try not to rely on the interventions from others, or else something or someone could slip out of the grip, and no one is to blame but you.