The Nerve

If there’s this person who wants to meet us, give him credit for that for he is one brave soul.

"The nerve". That is all you can say when you finally meet the person whom you have been communicating with on an online social network if he or she doesn’t fit the picture that he or she posted on the website. Consequently, the next best thing you should do is walk-out. Is that what you did?

“Ok, I’ll give him the chance. Perhaps what he lacks on the outside might be compensated by his inner beauty.” You rationalized and that is a very noble attitude coming from you. So you befriended him, dated, and later on got steady. All went well and you counted your first month, second month, but on the third month, you became stale with him. You met another guy and then you broke up with “the nerve”. You broke “the nerve’s” heart and even made him cry. He doesn’t even know what hit him.

Both of you wanted to maintain a friendly relationship but it did not last long because when you saw that “the nerve” started to bounce back, move on, and showed recovery of self-esteem, some hatred started to come up from your heart. You could not explain it but every time you saw him or hear his voice, it irritates you. When asked what is it that makes you hate him that much, you looked for an answer and surprisingly brought out the strangest reply. “He is a liar. He’s not even the one in the picture he claimed he is when I met him.” Do you think it’s fair to cite faults that you could have avoided in the first instance you met him?

We hate people who post pictures that aren’t theirs in our favourite social networking websites. We call them “liars”, “posers”, “pathetic”, and other derogatory words. We curse them and who wouldn’t. However, can we still call them like that if they decide to meet up with us in person? I think, we still can but why do you think they decided to do that when in fact that would risk their cover-up? If they intend to really deceive us, why would they want to meet us in person?

Sincerity of motive. That sounds ideal, noble, good, and other positive traits we can attribute to it. Yet, it is still deceiving for motive is two-pronged, good and bad. We make meet-ups for friendship, for sex, for date, and for many other reasons that could be interpreted as good or bad. Thus, if there’s this person who wants to meet us, give him credit for that for he is one brave soul who would be allowing himself to be judged by us, who is ready to face the consequences of his behaviour (e.g. posting different photo), and who is willing to unmask himself and be vulnerable. Accept him or reject him if we must but whatever decision that we make, let us just stand by it and don’t regret it when time comes.

To you who hated “the nerve” that much, you should not be if the only reason you can think of is that you were “deceived” on your first meeting. Let him be and free him, because it is the only way you can also free yourself of the loathing that is in your heart.