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Monday, January 24, 2011

State of Jealousy

tanong ko sa isang napakaseloso na tao, "ano ang mahihita mo sa kaseselos mo?" di sumagot dahil alam niyang wala.

“Would you allow your partner to have sex with him?” James asked me during a drinking session with my partner around and two other friends who he has just met. I am not surprised with his question and the idea accompanying it because I knew his frankness well. On the other hand, I was observing the other two witnesses on how they would react. Fortunately, I could not see any reaction from their faces, or they just know how to conceal it.

James, whatever his intention of asking me that particular question in front of my other friends, should have known that I am very vocal concerning my relationship with my partner. If he wants to embarrass me, then he has failed. “Would I allow Brad to have sex with my partner?” I repeated his question but this time I put a name on “him”. James suddenly aired his protest. “Why did you name names?” I replied, “Why wouldn’t I?” “It should be between us!” He was pissed. “So why asking it here?” He further expressed his objections but I just dismissed him.

Brad is a closed friend to both James and I. He openly expresses his desire not only to my partner but also to me and James as well. With that context, I answered the question. “It is ok with me if it is ok with my partner.” My partner did not react to what I just said, and so did my other friends. I guess it was an answer that they would expect from me. What the hell, it is only sex between two men. What could possibly get wrong if that happened? No one would get pregnant. There was no follow-up question. I am wondering. They could put me on the hot seat. They would have asked if I would get jealous or not. Well, I would like to answer that.

Getting jealous is normal and since I still consider myself as normal, I am also capable of that. I am not possessive though. Jealousy to me is just a present state. It is not something to dwell because no one would suffer with the feeling except me, and I would not like that feeling. Sex is not a feeling so there’s really nothing to get jealous about. My partner could have sex with someone else if he likes and I would not get jealous and I could have my own thing without him having that same feeling too (I hope). The only thing that I would get jealous is when I would see some emotional attachment. I think that is another thing.

The following day, I chatted with one of the two friends who were with us during the drinking session. He said that I really love my partner. I tried to recall what transpired the other night and wonder what made him say that.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

yeah, you're secured, but sometimes sex can lead to something else such as discovering one another that may lead to emotional attachment.

red the mod said...

Intimacy. That's the line, the definitive border. That incongruous slant that differentiates f*cking and making love.

Anonymous said...

ahhhh... la lang. isa lang masasabi ko... "James, hubad!" lol.

ang crazy ng mga friends mo kuya! :P

Guyrony said...

The state of mind is something truly too powerful to understand but it is factual.

It's only sex.

"What could possibly go wrong?" - Timmy Turner, The Fairly Oddparents

James - M.I. said...

"Yeah, it was supposed to be just between the two of us." - James

Just kidding. I'm not THE James in this entry. :)

Jealousy is normal for relationships. It will just whack our minds...

But would I allow my partner to have sex with other guys? Hell NO. We have to end our relationship first before he goes fooling around with other guys.

I guess I'm part of the few old/new school fellows who believes in Monogamy when in a relationship and Polygamy when single.

Napa comment tuloy. No offense Tripper. I respect naman your view. :)

Trip said...

@all, i know the risk of my actions and im ready to face it than be a reason to suppression of one's basic human right, the right to choose.

Anonymous said...

Tama, "right to choose", kaya nga ur in a relationship, you both chose one another to be in it. Choosing another sex partner after u or after him, is a diffennt story unless there was an open mutual pre-agreement for external sex and intimacy with others outside the relationship. Otherwise the "relationship" may be considered as "just4trip" lang din...jok :-)

Trip said...

"Choosing another sex partner after u or after him, is a diffennt story ..." <, malabo as in napakalabo. did u say this "just4trip" din? hahaha joke lang din.:)

Anonymous said...

napakalabo ba? muka nga hehe..nalabuan nrin ako. cguro depende rin un sa mind set and orientation about having sex...did i say "just4trip"? hmmnn...mukang masaya at masarap yan, masubukan kaya hehe, eka nga, trip trip lng, f**k and go! :)

back to topic, getting jealous when ur partner sex with someone, para sa marami, it's more of "unfaithful" to ur partner than trying ur partner to get jealous.

 

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