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    4 years ago

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Risk of Expectations

“This is just for the trip. Really. After this, let us part our ways and just think that what has just happened is part of a dream.” Seems easy to say. What if after sleeping together the other party could not get over it and would treasure the moment when you were together? Is that something to be proud of or is it something to be scared?


Scene One.

You met someone on a social networking site. He is someone very young for you but since you obviously know that this younger man is sexually active as you are, you agree to meet him. Nothing to lose you might think. He knows what could happen when you two meet. When you bring him home, he’s the one who offered sex. You obliged since that mind of yours always say, “trip trip lang.” You enjoyed the sex and there was a repeat when you meet again. Then he started to insinuate for a relationship but you told him “I already have a partner. Have you not known that? Can’t we just be friends?” You broke his heart and you lose a friend.

Scene Two.

You went to bed with an inexperienced one. Being the older one, you think you are very knowledgeable of managing someone who has so many issues in life. You can be his mentor, his coach. You started to love him even though you knew he can really be a problem. Then you live together and have a roller coaster of a ride. But being together seems advantageous for him. He started to learn much from you and become more independent. He started to live a lifestyle of a secured gay man. He went out on his own, create friends and you started to doubt. You cannot stand the lifestyle he has now so you choose to end the relationship. The apprentice has become a master.

Scene Three.

You end up in bed. That is no problem since every gay man has to satisfy that need. The only problem would be if someone would know what you really are. You always practice discretion. However, your partner is too happy with your relationship that he started to publicize your activities. He even shows your pictures. You do not know that until someone informed you. You get panic. “I have been very careful with my identity. How could he do that?” You asked yourself. You confront him. Is this the end?


There is no problem in sleeping together. We have to agree with that. There is no problem if love would develop after having sex. There is no problem when you help someone gain confidence and starts to feel secure of himself. There is no problem when someone would become too proud to have you as a partner. However, why would one starts to question or fear the consequences of his action? It is all because of expectations.

We expect that we can have both a friend and a sex partner. We expect that one can lead and the other follow. We expect that others cannot change. We expect that our wishes and aspirations are similar to others. We expect that we can control each other’s minds. We expect that people will follow the path we take. We have expectations and when they are not met, we become frustrated.

An expectation is a mechanism in building hope but we need to start low. We always know that to build on something we need to start from the basic. Could we just demand for a house without laying out the foundation? We expect too much so we are always frustrated when it is not met, and frustrations usually result to unreasonable actions. Hence, shall we just expect that after having sex we could just continue our normal life as if nothing really happened? Remember, there is always risk when two people end up in bed.


red the mod said...

no expectations = no disappointment

Mugen said...

parang kilala ko kung para kanino tong life lessons na ito ah. hehe.

Trip said...

@red the mod. exactly! but we need to have expectations just to lit a spark, we just need to lower them. :)

@Mugen. puwede, pero generic na iyan kasi puwedeng mangyari naman sa iba. sabihn na lang natin na inspired sa totoong pangyayari. hehehe

marco said...

kaya ako, I expect the worst. kung maganda ang resulta, good. kung di kanais nais ang resulta, tabla lang

Justin said...

at some points in my life, I did got into all of those scenarios. amazeballs, and here i thought i was being paranoid about these things :P

Trip said...

@marco. we have the same principle. :)

@Justin. and we all learn from these experiences. :)

jaara28 said...

never expect nlng cguro...go with d fliw and come what may...thats life

Jjampong said...

What if you already liked the person even before you decided to meet up? Sex is just a bonus...