Spotlight

I am a narcissist, an exhibitionist, but I certainly do not have ADHD.

“Hi! Good evening! This james again from abscbn, I need 6 hunk guys with abs ready to wear boardshort and swimming trunks and 7 sexy girls willing to wear 2 pcs swim wear, for the magkaribal taping tomorrow. 2pm sa abscbn. TF is 1500 net. Text me now if you’re available. Thanks!”

That was the text sent to my roommate from one of his acquaintances from showbiz. After he read it, he immediately dashed to our room and prodded me to go. “Coach punta ka, saying naman. 1500 din yun. Makikita ka pa sa TV.” I looked at him. “May tatapusin akong raket at mas malaki ang kikitain ko kesa sa diyan.” He went out of the room and showed the text to HB. He did not receive a favorable response.

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The same roommate asked me to go with them to watch the 100 Bachelors tonight. I still did not give my confirmation whether to go or not. I thought, what am I supposed to do there, ogle at the bodies parading on the platform? Then, what? This show including all the other male pageants is senseless. They just entertain false hopes and imagined fantasies.

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“If you are ask in a male beauty pageant which cause would you support, which one would that be?” A friend of mine asked me. I said, “I would want all male beauty pageants to stop. They only create false impressions on what true beauty is.” Can I say that as a contestant myself? I laughed at the thought. But where else can I do that to create more impact?

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I passed by Guadalupe this morning. Again, I saw the billboard of Folded and Hung advertising the go-see for models. Few years back, another friend urged me to go just for experience but a story from my gym instructor held me back. “These types of gigs are not favorable for freelancers. If you really want to at least pass the elimination, you need a manager or a backer.” He did not make it to the bikini open even though he has all the qualities to make it all because he did not have a manager.

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Two weeks ago, a film producer/director joined us in our dinner. Our friend who is an indie-film actor introduced us to him. There was a good conversation on fitness but when they started talking about showbiz, I just listened. Last night this friend reminded me that there would be a pool party with the producer/director and some other young actors. Would I join?

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Spotlight. This is what it is all about. If I want attention, I would easily grab or embrace this lifestyle or career but I do not desire for it. I am a narcissist, an exhibitionist, but I certainly do not have ADHD. I even blog not to gather followers or please my readers. I am not insecure. I do not have problems with my looks, money, and relationships. There are more deserving people for the spotlight and I do not want to grab that opportunity from them. There is already a spotlight beaming on me but it is not of show business. It is the spotlight of a good life.